Monday, September 17, 2007

More movies, yo

La Vie En Rose (2007)
Teh movie about the life of Edith Piaf. More specifically, teh french movie about Edith Piaf. Even worse, I had great expectations for the movie. Should'a known better, like Jim Diamond says. The actors are good, and the music is what it is (i.e. dependent on whether or not you like the voice and style of Edith Piaf). For all I know, Miou-Miou has a role in this flick. The scary thing is that among all the french characters portrayed in the movie, the only even closely resembling sympathetic is one of the hookers Edith grew up with - Titine. Bunch of french people, and not one for whom I'd even brake if he or she crossed the street. Amazing. I sincerely hope that this movie does not portray Edith Piaf as she actually was, 'cause I'd hate to think she was the path-of-least-resistance taking loser addict shown here. I could write a novel about how all the french people in this movie start to cry bloody murder every time something doesn't go their way, but I'll just say that the phrase "Hissy-fit" originated in france, and leave it at that. Or Le Fit de la Hissy, as they call it there.

Flyboys (2006)
In the name of everything sacred - I really thought this'd be cool. It's about WWI fighter pilots, or rather, American pilots who travel to france in order to get training as fighter pilots and help out during the war effort prior to America's official entering the war. The planes (bi- and triplanes) are awesome, the fighting scenes are excellent, Jean Reno is cool, and there's even a Zeppelin. Yet they manage to screw everything up by adding a half-assed romance with James Franco and some unknown french chick that carries on for more than 45 minutes. The result: A cool 90 minute flick turns into a 2 hours and 20 minutes snoozefest. Oh, and Pigeon - Monsiour Le Rain Man Director - it's made by the dude who directed "Independence Day" and "Godzilla", according to imdb.com.

Next (2007)
N to da C in an adaptation of a Philip K. Dick novel. I'm starting to lose hope in Nick Cage, even though I'm a big fan. Still, I choose to blame this load of crap on the presence of Julianne Moore. Apart from The Fugitive, everything in which she appears has turned to crap - she's the inverse King Midas. If she got a job in Disneyworld, I bet it would turn belly-up in less than two months. They say that Microsoft is pretty much a fail-safe company at this point, but if they hired Julianne Moore as a spokesperson, Bill Gates would be sleeping in a cardboard box or jump off a 30-story building in less than half a year.

34 comments:

Pigeon said...

Oh, and Pigeon - Monsiour Le Rain Man Director - it's made by the dude who directed "Independence Day" and "Godzilla", according to imdb.com.


ARf Roland Emerich !!!!

I will pass !!!

Wilhelm said...

You might like teh french one, though.

If you watch it, let me know if all the people appear to be bastards or if it's just a french thang...

Kjerstin said...

Couldn't agree more. All this diversity and complexity has to stop! They just confuse people (I mean, just look at the youth these days), people begin to think it's ok to be mean and/or weak, and society is the loser in the long run.

Here's my slogan: Nice happy movie characters now! And make them white and heterosexual while you're at it!

Wilhelm said...

Wow.

Didn't I just say that I thought it was a well-made movie with good acting?

Pigeon said...

Here's my slogan: Nice happy movie characters now! And make them white and heterosexual while you're at it!

Damn !!!
So it means no more SLJ !!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Wilhelm said...

No more SLJ movies...

They ought to make t-shirts with that slogan

Wilhelm said...

Btw Kjerstin - that was quite an impressive epic and brutal unrequested fission surplus you delivered there. Kudos.

Things not going right today?

Kjerstin said...

Things not going right today?
How _could_ you tell? :-)

Didn't I just say that I thought it was a well-made movie with good acting?
I guess you did. At least about the acting. It just sort of drowned in the
Bunch of french people, and not one for whom I'd even brake if he or she crossed the street. Amazing. I sincerely hope that this movie does not portray Edith Piaf as she actually was, 'cause I'd hate to think she was the path-of-least-resistance taking loser addict shown here.

Wilhelm said...

All part of my ongoing crusade against teh french ;-)

Seriously though - the actors were really good, and one could tell that it was a well-made movie and all. I just didn't happen to like it, much the same way as I can't stand listening to The Mahavishnu Orchestra, yet I know full and well that you'd be hard pressed to find a better bunch of musicians outside the realms of classical music. Just not my bag.

Anders said...

Here's my slogan: Nice happy movie characters now! And make them white and heterosexual while you're at it!

Are your sure that's your slogan? That kind of rules out french people and Daphne Blue guitar playing/ Kir Royal drinking men as movie characters. Now, we wouldn't want that, would we?

Wilhelm said...

Dude; where's teh love?

When's the last time you saw a Daphne Blue guitar playing, Kir Royal drinking character in a movie anyways, Anders?

Anders said...

When's the last time you saw a Daphne Blue guitar playing, Kir Royal drinking character in a movie anyways, Anders?

You would be nice to have one occasionally, wouldn't it? But I admit, I've seen more french characters in the movies.

Wilhelm said...

So you're saying that s'more likely to find a french character playing a Daphne Blue accordion while swilling Kir Royal, Anders?

Wilhelm said...

Still; some of my favorite Simpsons episodes involve french people.

Anders said...

So you're saying that s'more likely to find a french character playing a Daphne Blue accordion while swilling Kir Royal, Anders?

Maybe not in a multi-million Hollywood production. But in the independent film industry, maybe.

Seriously: Accordion rules! A daphne blue one would be way cool.

Wilhelm said...

Imagine some mustache-sporting french guy in a striped sweater with a beret, a daphne Blue accordion, and a table set with baguettes and anti-freeze, with teh Eiffel tower as a backdrop.

'Tis how I imagine france to be.

Pigeon said...

Damn I so dream That one day you will come with me to France dude .....

REVENGE !!!!!!

Wilhelm said...

I'd be SO dead if that plan works out for ya. Coroner's report would read "Death by france".

You'd probably leave me by the wayside in normandie with a bottle of anti-freeze, a beret and a baguette. I'd be dead from exposure in less than two days

Anders said...

Methinks monsieur pigeon is scrambling his french posse for a drive by. French style! (Basically a bunch of beret sportin' dudes jumping out of an old Citroën 2CV and beating the crap out of you with their baguettes...) Merde!

Pigeon said...

That's the french Fast and Furious

Le rapide et furieux !!!
Putain !!

Anders said...

Le bleu et bon, monsiour Pigéonne!!! Maximeur!

Pigeon said...

me don't understand what you saying
is that supposed to be some le french ?

Anders said...

Is the spelling wrong? What's the correct spelling?

Pigeon said...

I don't know I don't know what you want to say

Anders said...

So those aren't real words? Who would have thought that. Next thing, you're gonna claim "rapide" and "furieux" are actual french words? Yeah, right"

Wilhelm said...

Methinks monsieur pigeon is scrambling his french posse for a drive by. French style! (Basically a bunch of beret sportin' dudes jumping out of an old Citroën 2CV and beating the crap out of you with their baguettes...) Merde!

That would be teh awesome! I'd pay top dollar to see that!

Wilhelm said...

That's the french Fast and Furious

Le rapide et furieux !!!
Putain !!


First of all, it's pretty frickin' awesome that you've started deep-sixin' the capitalized letter for "french". 8-D

Second, I'd pay even more top dollar to see this movie. Let's call it "The french And The Furious" (Le francois et furieux). Starring Louis Le Funes and Miou-Miou. Soundtrack by Jean-Jaques Goldman.

Pigeon said...

give me a rope !!!

Anders said...

W-Imp, I don't think you want to meet the french posse for a drive by. If they're after you, you're basically french toast. So stay away from the french quarter...
:-)

Wilhelm said...

Yeah; 'cause I typically hang out in the french quarter

Anders said...

No quarter? Damn, those french are brutal...

Is it just me, or is this thread way too long for it's own good?

Wilhelm said...

So because the thread is too long you feel compelled to inform us of this by adding to it?

Brutal logic you've got goin' on there, A-train...

;-)

Anders said...

Well, my comments are funny, well articulate and intelligent at the same time, and do not in any way contribute to the decrease in quality of the comments on this blog. If I may say so...

Wilhelm said...

Grandmaster A taking me down Know Your Role Boulevard, taking that hard right onto Jabroni Drive, and checking me into Smack Down Motel.

Big fan of The Rock, are ya?