Monday, June 9, 2008

Going to the bank is worse than...

...having your nose broken......and I can back it up with personal experience. Damn sales weasels.

Today my wife and I had to go sign some documents at our bank. That was all we had to go through, we thought, but nooooo. As soon as we rolled in the door, our bank representative started up with the same horrible sales rap we've been through a number of times now, after having been lured to the bank under some bogus "we need to go through these documents in person" pretense. Immediately after we'd sat down, our bank weasel rolled out the "analysis" sheets of what should happen if - higher powers forbid - one of us should be disabled or worse, going through in painstaking detail how things would suck financially in addition to the infinite number of other ways in which everything would be horrible. She laid out the sequential scenarios of disability or death for both of us, and for what? 'Cause she wants to sell us insurances, of course. The kicker: Both of us have that kind of insurances taken care of via another provider and she knows this, but still she insisted on going through these quite frankly disturbing scenarios. The fact that we're going to attend a funeral on Friday makes it even more depressing. But THEN we just got to sign the papers and be on our not-so-merry-anymore ways, right?

That's a big negatory. She then proceeded to try to convince us of saving via their investment funds, which - of course, was guaran-damn-teed to give us annual returns of at least 15%. And she had colored pie-charts and projections like a damn timeshare sales-weasel. "If ya save X thousand per month now, you'll have millions and millions in 20 years, 'cause this is virtually no risk, and at the very least you're looking at 15% annual revenue".

How very Terra Securities of her. Teh kicker; to get these no-risk, minimum 15% annual revenue deals one would have to sign a document stating that we accept that this is high-risk, and that we would have to accept annual losses of up to 20% as "part of the game".

Basically the thing we went there to do was a three-minute job, and the remaining 30+ minutes was listening to sales rap we absolutely did not want to hear. F*ck that bank "person" and the gargoyle she rode in on!


Anders said...

To bad, Willster. I know how you feel. I do want to get relevant information my bank (or any other company where I'm a customer), but I do not like it when they force feed me sales mumbo-jumbo that I have no interest in.

Luckily, after I changed bank two years ago, my contact person at the bank is freakin' amazing. My bank may not be overall the best on price, but it's worth a bit to have great and personal service.

My condolences in regards to the funeral, whoever that may be.

Wilhelm said...

Thanks, brother

We were actually quite satisfied with our bank rep until about the time we moved...then again we didn't really need much of the services she provided until then, so who knows