Sunday, September 7, 2008

Axl Rose biography

W.A.R - The Unauthorized Biography of W. Axl Rose by Mick Wall.

It's a simple story; 1) rock journalist hangs tight with Guns'N'Roses, 2) journalist gets to hang backstage with the band as well as at their houses, 3) journalist writes something about the band which is not to Axl's liking, 4) journalist is put on shit list and even named in the song "Get In The Ring", 5) journalist writes an "objective" biography about Axl Rose wherein, wonder over all wonders, Axl doesn't exactly come out smelling like a rose. Hell hath no fury like a mediocre rock journalist who got to experience fame by association only to be cast out of Paradise City.

Although this is hardly an objective biography written by a neutral third party, I'll concede that I don't think anyone could be capable of writing a favorable book about Axl Rose. The best parts of this book consist of transcripts from interviews (with others) and from things Axl has said during concerts (also from other media outlets than from the scorned memory of Mick Wall). With Axl Rose, it's always someone else's fault, and he is just an innocent bystander. Every time he ever threw a hissy fit on stage or didn't bother to show up, it's always some phenomenally unlikely occurrence which is to blame. Or it's someone else in the revolving pool of hapless individuals which is the Guns'N'Roses organization which is to blame. It's never Axl; all Axl wants is to go out there and put on the best show of the fans' lives or to put out the best rock'n roll record in the history of Mankind. Sadly, Axl Rose is trapped in a region of time and space where normal things don't happen very often, and where he is constantly experiencing bouts of extraordinarily bad luck.

By the way; the journalist Mick Wall is the same guy who wrote "Run To The Hills", the official biography of Iron Maiden, a book so overenthusiastic about the band that as I read it, I was constantly amazed at how Mr. Wall managed to type with Steve Harris' dick in his mouth. and his balls obscuring his view. In "W.A.R", Mr. Wall refers to the time around "Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son" - characterized by Iron Maiden as well as Mr. Wall as the time in which Iron Maiden were on top of the world and had no peers in hard rock - as well past Iron Maiden's prime. Considering how many rock star biographies Mr. Wall has penned, I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Wall has contributed more to the spreading of STD among rock stars than Bebe Buell.