Yesterday, I read in the latest issue of Sweden Rock Magazine that the self-proclaimed "Kings Of Metal" - Manowar - have launched their own brand of condoms called "Warrior's Shield". On the merch site of their label, Magic Circle Music, the lead-in to the jimmy-hat product description reads:
MANOWAR fans have requested a special piece of merchandise from their favorite metal band. MANOWAR has heard these requests and delivered. The new MANOWAR condoms are the perfect romantic accessory for all true metal couples. Whether you are looking to spice things up in the bedroom or meet somebody new after the show, MANOWAR condoms will do the trick. Now, you are ready for any chance meetings that turn into unexpected friendships.
This special "Warrior's Shield" is made of 100% natural rubber latex and transparent in color. All condoms are FDA approved against pregnancy, AIDS and other STD's. Expiration date, lot numbers and health advisories printed on the back of each condom.
The "Warrior's Shield" is individually packaged with the white MANOWAR logo emblazoned on the package. The "Warrior's Shield" is sold five (5) condoms per bag.
Now you can not only say Fuck The World, you can do it as well.
Apparently, pregnancy is defined as a Sexually Transmitted Disease by these Mighty Warriors of Steel, but then again, the Legendary True Metal Kings have other things to do than learn grammar and all that nerdy false metal stuff. Just for some flavor (pun intended), here is a video of the Epic Heroes:
..OK, that was a spoof video of one of their songs, but the actual band isn't much better:
...now what do you think the odds are of Manowar fans actually requiring prophylactics for other purposes than avoiding to further stain their clothes and few other fabric-made wordly possessions? Also, I suspect that these condoms (only available in sizes Small and down, I wager) do not come flavored because few Manowar fans have sufficient spinal flexibility due to years of headbanging and slouching at school.
Other bands Play, Manowar Kill indeed....