Thursday, November 1, 2007

Bicycle love

Did you read the story about the guy who got arrested for having sex with his bicycle? After being caught by his cleaners, this Scottish gentleman is now placed on the sex offenders' register. I think it's safe to say that if you start your day by getting caught trying to get to third base with your bike, the rest of the ain't looking too good either. Scott Adams has already milked this story for most of the good jokes on his blog, so he totally beat me to it.

I'll take great pleasure in forwarding the story to my Scottish friend James, though. He's already expressed some concern that my only knowledge of Scottish culture appears to be from Mike Myers, Braveheart and Groundskeeper Willy from The Simpsons. From now on, he might refer to that time as "The Good Old Days". The potential for jokes here is endless, especially if the bike turns out to be second-hand.

Also, this story explains quite a bit about the douchebags who insist on riding their bicycles in full-on condom suits in the car lanes despite Trondheim having excellent bicycle lanes which are virtually devoid of traffic. First of all I thought the term "condom suit" referred to the tight fit, not to the practice of safe sex. Second, I thought they were pedaling those bikes for all it's worth in order to get to where they were going, not to get their freak on. Third, I'm now wondering if the crotch padding of those condom suits also have some receptacle function in order to facilitate cleaning.

6 comments:

Anders said...

Welcome to all things Scottish. Our slogan is: "If it's not Scottish, IT'S CRAP!"

Whadayamean, Mike Meyers is scottish, isn't he? Or at least he knows Schottish culture very well.

On a side note, I noticed the last sentence in your article. It said that there was an English dude that had sex with pavement. Is that even physical possible?

PS: W-Boi, there are some weirdos in your neigbourhood as well.

Anders said...

Nevermind (as people often say to the IT Helpdesk...). Wrong city on the link above. I should start reading serious news as this more carefully. Anyway, I feel that the papers print some version of that at least once a year. How interesting...

Wilhelm said...

Gives a completely new meaning to the term "dry humping", doesn't it?

Ålesund is pretty damn far from my 'hood, brother.

:-(

;-)

8-D

Yeah; I was strugglin' way too hard with something way simple two days ago, wasn't I? "Your call may be recorded for purposes of quality assurance"

Anders said...

Of course there is a lot more jokes in "riding my bike" etc here...
;-)

Yeah, I just remember there was some weird news nearer to you, but I guess I grabbed the wrong article. Oh well. Can't win'em all.

Wilhelm said...

Plenty of weird crap goin' down in my hood, brotha'.

PS "Goin' down" also works with the bicycle bit now, doesn't it?

Somebody should write a power ballad about bicycles

Anders said...

Plenty of weird crap goin' down in my hood, brotha'.

PS "Goin' down" also works with the bicycle bit now, doesn't it?


Methinks "weird" works even better with the bicycle bit...

Somebody should write a power ballad about bicycles

Bicycle Race by Queen will have to do for now...