Thursday, November 29, 2007

Worst songs ever - candidates

Despite the fact that my taste in music has almost no overlap with the taste of the other regular contributors here, I'm sure that there are songs that are so bad as to transcend the barriers of personal preferences. To test this, I thought we could start a list of the worst songs ever and see if we can drum up a list of, say, ten songs that we all agree are absolute and utter crap. I'll start it off with some candidates - for each candidate vote yay or nay:
UPDATED!!
  • Los Del Rio - Macarena (Why is it that only the REALLY crap songs have their own dance?)
  • Las Ketchup - The Ketchup Song (Thankfully I lived in the good ol' US when this was a hit, and only heard it on vacation)
  • Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 (I HATED that song with a passion for the entire Summer and Fall of 1999)
  • Ricky Martin - She Bangs (Like Anders says - how can you only pick one Ricky Martin song? Still - this one is in my opinion even worse than Livin' La Vida Whatever)
  • Jennifer Lopez - My Love Don't Cost A Thing (Toss-up between this and "Jenny From Da Block")
  • Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out (Thanks for ruining every football - as opposed to soccer - game, ya epic one hit wonder douches)
  • Eiffel 65 - Blue (We GET it - dude's blue. End of story - move on)
  • Eric Prydz - Call On Me (How annoying can three words strung together and put in a seemingly infinite loop be, you ask? Check out this 2004 monster hit and findeth out)
  • Sisqo - The Thong Song (Ohmigawd this is why so many third generation studiogangstas suck)
  • N'Sync- Bye Bye Bye (Yeah - move along....buh-bye now, ya epic wankstas. PS: you forgot to bring JT with ya)
  • Nelly - Hot In Herre (yet another sagging, three sizes too big sweater-wearing, Lugz-rollin' record company-constructed bandwagon-jumper)
  • Vengaboys - We're Goin' To Ibiza (Any song by this group fits in here, but this is much, much worse than their trademark "Boom Boom Boom Boom")
  • DJ Bobo - Chihuahua (Dude calls himself DJ Bobo. 'Nuff said)
  • Christina Aguilera, Li'l Kim, Mya and Pink - Lady Marmalade (My, my MY how I'm sick and tired of this here song. Can't stand the vocal masturbation goings on presented here and the complete lack of lyrical content)
  • 50 Cent - Candy Shop (How did this freak of nature ever get street cred? He got discovered and groomed by Eminem. Plus, his legendary music video formula of Product = (Black Leather Couch + Bottles of Bub + Collection of Booty-Shakin' Damn near Nekkid' Hos + Bling + Hyooge Black Car With Spinners + Bunch Of Loser Tag-Along Buddies Who Try Their Very Best To Look Badass But Probably Work At Mickey D + Jacuzzi) is frantically stereotypical. Plus - how somebody thinks he's all swole is beyond me - dude's a stickman.)
  • Aqua - Barbie Girl (From Anders. When this came out, I thought it was a once-over spoof by an otherwise unknown band. Then they released "Dr. Jones" in 1998...)
  • Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe (From Anders. Yeah this one's annoying...........)
  • Hanson - Mmmm Bop (Anders again. Heeeeeyyyyyyyy....my band used ta' play this one back in the mid-to-late 90's)
  • Spice Girls - When 2 Becomes 1 (From the Anders Selection. And I agree - this is even more annoying than Wannabe)
  • Wes - Alane (Pigeon's choice. He showed me teh video on Youtube, and yeaaahhhhhh.....it sucketh plenty)
  • Inferno - Paris To Berlin (Anders' suggestion. Can't say that I recall this one..)
  • Robbie Williams - Rock DJ (Dude has many to choose from. My second choice would be "Let Me Entertain You")
  • Britney Spears - Toxic (Can't believe this piece of transplanted trailer park trash hasn't appeared earlier. Oh snap - now I'll have to deal with the psycho Britney fan.....)
  • Prodigy - Firestarter (Oh would ya hook a brutha' up.......this one sucks, and unless you're on X or mentally otherwise engaged, it's im possible to get anything positive out of this one)
  • Fool's garden - Lemon Tree (We get it - y'all have got yourselves a nice li'l lemon tree.....now hush; begone!)
  • Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On (Pigeon? Not sure if this is one of the worst ever, but sure - let's include it in teh preliminaries)
  • Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart (There's country music, and there's Billy Ray Cyrus)
  • Marilyn Manson - Beautiful People (The only MM song I remember the name of..)

24 comments:

Anders said...

My list:
Children Of Bodom - Angels Don't Kill
Children Of Bodom - Are You Dead Yet?
Children Of Bodom - Hate Crew Deathroll
Children Of Bodom - Silent Night, Bodom Night
Dionysus - Time Will Tell
Firewind - I Am The Anger
Megadeth - Dread And The Fugitive Mind
Megadeth - In My Darkest Hour
W.A.S.P. - Sleeping In The Fire
Yngwie Malmsteen - Hangar 18 Area 51

Pigeon said...

excellent Anders, I have the same !!!

Wilhelm said...

8-D

Awesome, guys. Let me see if I can recognize the system here.......

Anders said...

Just kidding. This was too obvious to let go... ;-)

Actually, your list contains a lot of annoying songs. The problem with making a list lik this, I have a hard time listing them on command. I try to forget them, but once I hear them on the radio or something...

So, untill I can think of some more, here is one candidate that really, really makes me physically ill:
Ole Ivars - Their cover of "no woman, no cry", with Norwegian lyrics.

Wilhelm said...

...so did your list change now?


Actually - I'm gonna limit the list to songs with lyrics either in English, or with so little words that it don't matter

Anders said...

...so did your list change now?

Yeah, for some reason it did... ;-)

Ok, English lyrics only. That's a good idea, otherwise we would be stuck with an all french list here (Noir Desir, Air, Serge Gainsbourg, etc).

I nominate:
Anything by Rednecks (or whatever that horrible swedish band is called)
Ricky Martin: How is it possible to choose just one of his "hits"?
Aqua - Barbie Girl

Here is a couple that I don't remember the name of the band:
- From Paris To Berlin
- Daddy DJ
- Mmm bop (or whatever it's called, those long haired young brothers)

And the "hit" from that norwegian Pop star winners band. Anybody remember what they were called?

...I'm sure there is more. I will have a peek into my wifes record collection tonight... :-D

Anders said...

How could I forget:

Spice Girls - Wannebe (I think I'll go with that, since it was their first and greatest hits).

Actually, Two Becomes One might even be worse. It' soooo cheesy.

Pigeon said...

Mmm bop (or whatever it's called, those long haired young brothers)

Hanson !!!!!

Glad to help

Pigeon said...

Wes - Alane is awful but I have no idea in which language it is!!

otherwise we would be stuck with an all french list here (Noir Desir, Air, Serge Gainsbourg, etc).
Bastard

Anders said...

Hanson !!!!!

Glad to help


Bonus point if you get the "Paris To Berlin" band. It's a duo. Funky dude and a blonde. Or Daddy DJ. Have no idea who that is.

But the swedish band: Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe. That's the song.

And the winner of the Norwegian was Cape. Can't remember their song, though. Anybody?

Google-zen later, I guess.

Pigeon said...

you underestimate my google foo

Infernal !!!

Anders said...

Infernal is Daddy DJ or Paris To Berlin?

Oh, one more:
The Eric Prytz song should be Call On Me. It's way more annoying then Follow me (probably because I haven't heard Follow me...)

Pigeon said...

I have to include every reggae song ever written. What's more annoying than that ?

Wilhelm said...

Good stuff people - thanks for the correction on Eric Prydz. I'll include teh nominations.

Wilhelm said...

RE the reggae thing - in my opinion one would also have to include every Irish drinking song ever made. That "what's with the diddle-dum-dei" crap is - in my ears and in my humble opinion - utter, unadulterated, 100% Grade A, guaran-damn-teed Keebler Elf "Whar's my gold" steaming monkey crap

Pigeon said...

Celine Dion - My heart will go on !!!

Anders said...

So, as stated in W-boi's initial post, here is my Nay and Yay's to his list (Yay meaning they're bad):

Los Del Rio - Macarena -Yay
Las Ketchup - The Ketchup Song - Yay
Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 - yay
Ricky Martin - She Bangs - yay
Jennifer Lopez - My Love Don't Cost A Thing - Yay
Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out - Yay
Eiffel 65 - Blue - Nay (can't remember this one)
Eric Prydz - Follow Me - Yay to Call on Me.
Sisqo - The Thong Song - Nay - forgot this one.
N'Sync- Bye Bye Bye - Nay. Does not annoy me so much.
Nelly - Hot In Herre - Yay
Vengaboys - We're Goin' To Ibiza - yay
DJ Bobo - Chihuahua - Nay (don't remember it)
Christina Aguilera, Li'l Kim, Mye and Pink - Lady Marmalade - mmm, maybe? Annoying, but can we find more annoying then this, can't we?
50 Cent - Candy Shop - Nay. Doesn't bother me that much. Not more then 90% of rap anyway.

Pigeon said...

what !!!!!

Chihuahua by 'DJ' Bobo has to be on the list
It's actually my number one

Wilhelm said...

Billy ray Cyrus - good choice.

And yeah; lady Marmalade easily belongs on the list in my opinion. As a matter of fact, I'd much rather listen to any vengaboys tune over this one any day. I'll take almost any other song on the list save for Macarena and Mambo No. 5, and maybe The Thong Song...

Pigeon said...

Britney Spears - Toxic (Can't believe this piece of transplanted trailer park trash hasn't appeared earlier. Oh snap - now I'll have to deal with the psycho Britney fan.....)

leave Britney spears alone

I mean it !!!!!!!!!

Anders said...

And yeah; lady Marmalade easily belongs on the list in my opinion.

You're not still pissed on that Bohus commercial, are you?
;-)

Anders said...

Mmmh... We're missing some Marlyn (sp?) Manson here. I don't know any of his titles, but his "music" is really bad. It shows that music can be really bad, even within the genre of "rock", which guitars and such...

Wilhelm said...

You're not still pissed on that Bohus commercial, are you?
;-)


Still quite peeved, but I've never liked this song, so my dislike for the commercial in question doesn't really sway me. Infinity plus one is still infinity, etc.

Marylin Manson - good choice. I'll add "Beautiful People", as it's the only one I remember the name of.

Anders said...

Yes, Beautiful People is the one.