Reflections from the hospital maternity ward

A small collection of thoughts and experiences made while at the maternity ward following the birth of our Baby Boy Viktor

• People who opt for a home birth due to some green-tinted sixties mind hippie bullshit are outta' their minds. Any birth can turn into a C-section in a hurry no matter how good the prognosis, at which point all the herbal tea in the world ain't gonna help you. Not using the existing resources to facilitate the birth is downright ignorant. Sure; they didn't need doctors to have babies in the olden days, but they also had a life expectancy of 30 and an infant mortality rate that makes smoking crack look like popping omega 3 capsules.
• You probably have no idea how you're going to react to various aspects of parenthood until you're in the situation. I know I didn't.
• Much props to the maternity ward at St. Olav's hospital - it's awesome compared to what I've been told from other hospitals around the country. The fact that fathers are allowed to stay at the patient hostel or in the maternity ward throughout for a pittance of a fee absolutely rules. Plus, most of the staff there were the epitome of helpfulness.
• The "bed" I got to sleep on was a futon-like extravaganza of dimensions exactly as long as I am tall, and exactly as wide as my shoulder width. It wasn't made for someone of my dimensions - that's for damn sure.
  
• When you send baby pictures to friends and relatives, the same picture will get you ten different interpretations from eight different people on how much and where the kid looks like his parents.
• It's amazing how fast you get used to very little sleep and interval napping. I haven't slept this little in years (probably since grad school in NC), but it doesn't affect function. At least not yet.
• I've never read newspapers (or at least VG and Dagbladet) quite as thoroughly as this past week.
• It's true what the commercial says: Thank Heaven for 7-11. While hospital food no doubt covers the nutritional needs of the average individual, the taste leaves much to be desired. Hence I mosied on over to 7-11 every night to get me some of that Beef Chop Suey and a couple of cookies.
• Why would a store called 7-11 need to post a sign on the door specifying the opening hours unless they deviate from the name of the store?
• The same 7-11 totally got me hooked on photography magazines. From those I've learned that I need to use the raw format, use plane-polarized filters, and start to use Photoshop for post-treatment. Apparently I've also got to purchase all kinds of schtuff I didn't know existed before I bought the magazines.
• Single-use razors absolutely suck.
• I actually got a call from someone at work about trivial, work-related stuff while I was at the maternity ward. And yes; the dude in question knew full and well where I was and on what occasion when he made the phone call. Academia apparently waits for no man, and yet "purely academic" is a phrase used when referring to a subject nobody actually cares about. Go figure.
  
• Few things are as relaxing and serene as the look and sound of a sleeping infant.
• Walking out of the hospital with Viktor in my hands was a VERY proud moment