Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Brutal self-ownage





Lene Alexandra, who is known for a) showing her tits in magazines, b) showing her tits in "music" videos and c) singing about her tits and then shaking them in her own "music" video, recently removed the plastic from her breasts, and went from a size E to a B. 600 grams of plastic in each breast, which you math buffs out there know amounts to 1.2 kilos of fake boobs. This "glamour model", who has Pamela Anderson as a role model according to VG, wanted to remove the rubber tits for "health and image reasons", and she now wants to become a spokesperson for young girls, preaching on how it's a bad idea to get cosmetic surgery. Said the bimbo whose entire career is built up around her tits. She now wants to be taken more seriously as an artist and as a person.

Cue her international manager, who was shocked to find that she had removed her artificial mammaries, and now wants to cancel the international release of her "music". His comment: "Why change a winning team" speaks volumes of how much respect he has for Lene Alexandra the artist, singer and person. But surely Christer Falck, the guy who "discovered" her and helped her mold her "career" is gonna stand up for her? Even here on this blog, someone claiming to have inside knowledge was all up in my grill defending Falck as a stand-up guy who carers for music and the performers on his label. Well; Falck states it was a very bad move on her part, and even offers a (in his mind) clever comparison: "It's like if the world's best soccer player Torres would amputate both his legs from his knees and down before the European Championsip finals."

Maybe the anonymous person commenting on something I wrote a ways back was right after all - a statement like this can only come from a caring person with a burning passion for the music he puts out and the artists on his label - he obviously holds them in the highest regard as human beings as well as in their professional capacity.

Heart-warming. Oh well; I'm sure Lene Alexandra has invested the financial gain of her 15 minutes worth of fame wisely....

4 comments:

Anders said...

PR jippo.
Unless there is some health issues, I think she'll take an Pamela Andersson and put them back in again after a while. And of course get a lot of publicity for that, since it's an excuse for VG and Dagbladet to have a pair of tits on their front page.

As far as mr. Falck goes: Maybe he's an stand-up guy that cares for blondes with big plastic jugs?

Wilhelm said...

Well; after she realizes that her one and only chance of mainstream commercial value lies in putting the plastic back, she's probably gonna try that - sure.

As far as Falck...are you channeling faceless commenters from past posts, Anders?

Anders said...

Well; after she realizes that her one and only chance of mainstream commercial value lies in putting the plastic back

Not even Lene A. or mr. Falck is stupid enough to think that Lene Alexandra has any other assets that have mainstream commercial value? Btw, I love to be proven wrong on that one.

As far as Falck...are you channeling faceless commenters from past posts, Anders?

Just trying to be sarcastic. And failing miserable, it seems.

Wilhelm said...

If it's a PR jippo wherein Lene Alexandra has an active part and planned to put the plastic back in, she sure takes some health risks in exchange for 10 new minutes of fame and chump change. As she's not the writer or "composer" of her songs, and C to da F probably is a way better negotiator than her, in addition to the managers' pay check which comes out of her share, she'd have to shake her tits a LOT to even see a quarter mill total