Part Vier: Eurovision Song Contest

I admit it - since Wig Wam brought metal to the Eurovision Song Contest, I've followed the finals, and I'm enjoying it. Not necessarily so much for the actual music, being as how one has to sift through lots of poor Enrique Iglesias imitations, bizarre medleys of techno and non-4/4 ethnic "world" music (i.e. a boatload of people on stage each with a drum and a stick) and horrible, horrible gut-wrenching ballads in French to hear the few listenable songs. Rather, it's cool to watch in the same way as watching the tryouts for Idol (American or domestic), with the added bonus that you might pick a favorite you actually care what happens to.

Like Iceland's contribution this year - Valentine Lost, performed by Eirikur Hauksson - the singer for 80's Norwegian metal act Artch. Dude is an excellent singer, and the song had the classic "Mr. Crowley" (or I Will Survive) chord progression. Eirikur even threw in some major Dio poses during his performance for good measure. I would've liked this song even outside of the ESC context (i.e. if placed next to other credible artists). So did he get to the finals? Hell no. Did they vote through a bunch of songs which seemed to serve no other purpose than to provide microphone-wielding strippers with a background track? That's a big 10-4. They even voted through a Turkish guy who looked like the embodiment of an STD infomercial.

So I guess I'm screwed. Still, watching the finals is going to be a lot of fun, when combined with a party, a wager and a few iced teas from this place called Long Island.