Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The physical volume to space filling discrepancy

In optics, an object like a particle has an actual physical diameter and corresponding volume, and an optical diameter which may be vastly different from the actual physical dimensions. The optical diameter of a particle is decided mainly by the particle's absorption and scattering cross sections, meaning that a dense, electron rich particle will be filling up more space when viewed by optical means than what it's physical dimensions would otherwise dictate. Basically, this is one of the properties which make plasmonics cool.

Interestingly, there are some similarities with how much space a person apparently occupies in a crowded room. Essentially, the amount of space a minute motherfu*ker can take up can often vastly exceed the physical dimensions of said skinny twerp. What we're talking about here is an alternative explanation of the well-known small dude syndrome (SDS), wherein the ratio of apparent space filling and physical volume is primarily decided by the cross-section, or density, of the sum of ego and sociopathic tendencies. Think of it as 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. When the SDS-afflicted hobbit is silent - something which rarely occurs - physical symptoms may include ILS (Invisible Lat Syndrome, or the carrying of invisible suitcases) for the gym-going version of this small fraction of a person. Upon speaking, symptoms of SDS often manifest themselves as breaking into other people's conversations via bypassing of common courtesy in order to ask any trivial and/or inane question the small, but dense douchebag may have worked out for the occasion. During meetings or presentations, SDS can manifest itself by asking questions which have little to do with the presented material only to ignore the answer and go off on a tangent of arrogance and ignorance in equal measures. I conclude my post with the following visual aid:


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Insight for the Ignorant: Applying for a job

Writing an application for a job such as a post doc position isn't always straightforward, and there are many potential pitfalls. One has to try and stand out while at the same time trying to conform to expressed and hidden agendas. However, there are certain things one can do which both helps with the organization of the application and aids in making one's application look serious. One thing to keep in mind is to READ THE F*KING ANNOUNCEMENT at least well enough to notice a large section in bold-face giving a detailed list of which attachments to include and then make good and damned sure you conform to this list. Failing to provide the documents clearly and specifically listed in the announcement tells the hiring committee at least one in five things about the applicant, none of them good:
  1. Applicant can't provide said documentation and is thus not qualified
  2. Applicant doesn't bother to read the announcement carefully and thus isn't what you can hope for in a potential hire
  3. Applicant is not skilled enough in the language of the announcement to understand what's required - which in most cases means that applicant lacks skills in Norwegian AND English. Consequently, the applicant isn't qualified to work in an international work environment with minimal English skills being required.
  4. Applicant is too stupid to understand the announcement...
  5. Applicant is unable to control his or her ego even at this stage, and thus ignores the rules in favor of how the applicant would prefer to organize the application. DEFINITELY not one to hire.

I got roped into being on one of them committees - does it show?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Three movies for a fever weekend

My ass got thoroughly kicked by fever this weekend, so what better to do than to watch some movies? Starting with:

Monster's Ball
Halle Berry raked in an Oscar for her performance in this 2001 movie, and I remember it was all the rage back then. We bought this movie for 39 NOK, and I doubt we'll ever watch it again. The movie was bizarre, to say the least. Imagine "Deliverance" merged with a PBS after school special about interracial and intercultural understanding in the deep South, mixed in with gratuitous sex scenes often involving the village prostitute, neither of which seem to have anything to do with the plot. There's also some "deep thoughts" about capital punishment which definitely don't resonate with me, a suicide and a hit&run resulting in vehicular manslaughter of a kid. The only way I can understand why this thing won an Oscar would be if there were fewer movies made than there were Oscar statues available that year, but I think we know that's not true. By the way; Heath Ledger should've at least ditched his Australian accent when portraying an inbred Georgia prison guard. Oh freakin' well.

Must Love Dogs
Romantic comedy from 2005 starring Diane Lane and John Cusack. A divorced, 40-something pre-school teacher (Lane) is introduced to internet dating after her sister puts her profile on a dating site. Through this ad, she has to sift through numerous losers before she finds "The One", via several complications, natch. Pretty good rom com, and an overall feelgood movie. If ya liked "Sleepless In Seattle", "You've Got M@il" and "It Could Happen To You", then you'll like this one.

Grease
The 1978 classic with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John as Danny Zuko and Sandra Olsson, respectively. I'm not sure if I've ever seen the entire movie before, and I know that I've mixed up several scenes with "Footloose" in the past, but now I've seen the original high-school musical, and I have to admit it was really good. The music - composed by Barry Gibb - really fits, and one can really see where many more recent high school movies have based their main set on Rydell High. Checketh it out if ya haven't seen it.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

GQ4: Deguello - Round 6

Deguello - Sixth round, no bonus point.


Submit your answers to mfactorquiz (at) gmail.com by the end of Friday 111408. Each song holds the potential of two points - one point for artist and one point for the song. Answers will be posted on Saturday 111508.

Song number 206:



Song number 207:



Song number 208:



Song number 209:



Song number 210:

Results GQ4: Deguello - Round 5

..the answer to the bonus question was "Classic Rock" or simply "Rock'n'Roll". With that in mind, the songs were:
  • Song 201: ZZ Top - Rough Boy. Perhaps one of the powerballads with the least powerballad-y lyrics out there. Love the pinched harmonics though.
  • Song 202: Aerosmith - Dream On. Although I also accepted Eminem with Sing For The Moment, seeing as how nothing about the recording could distinguish between the two, and since Aerosmith re-recorded the song for Mr. Mathers. One of y'all answered that the artist here was the Yngwie Malmsteen/Dio collaboration on the Aerosmith tribute album. If wishing made it so, this recording would indeed have sounded like Yngwie.
  • Song 203: The Beatles - I Saw Her Standing There. You're right Pigeon - all the Beatles songs from this era sound exactly the same.
  • Song 204: Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode. If you've had the pleasure(?) of giving guitar lessons and organizing band rehearsal for junior high school kids in exchange for the school giving you free access to the rehearsal space, you're very familiar with this one.
  • Song 205: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Proud Mary. Actually, I think this version is closer to Ike/Tina Turner, and I certainly accepted both answers.
Nevertheless, the Round 5 scores look like this:
  1. Sondre (10 points)
  2. Cathy (9 points)
  3. Torbjørn a.k.a. T-bombz (8 points)
  4. Anders (7 points)
  5. Pigeon (5 points)
  6. Marius (4 points)
The Total Score
after the fifth round is:
  1. Sondre (32 points)
  2. Torbjørn (27 points)
  3. Cathy/Pigeon (tied at 25 points)
  4. ...
  5. Anders (21 points)
  6. Marius (18 points)
Congrats to Sondre
and good luck with round 6!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Karoshi

For those of you not versed in Japanese, karoshi basically means death from overwork. In Japan this type of death occurs frequently enough so as to warrant it's own category in statistics. The reason I bring it up now, is that for the last two days, we've had a visit from a Japanese colleague (Associate Professor) who plans on spending his sabbatical working in our lab. In talking to him and learning about how the life of a tenured faculty member proceeds in Japan, I couldn't help but remember an old post about a teacher who was whining and complaining about how underappreciated, underpaid and overworked she was. To quote the dumbass in question, she uttered that "Eg har venar i alle yrke, og ingen arbeider meir og tener mindre enn meg" ("I've got friends in all professions, and nobody works more and earns less than me").

For the benefit of said dumbass, here's a brief overview of the average week of my Japanese colleague.
  • Get up at 6:30-7 AM. Hope to see wife and four year old daughter before it's off to work.
  • Just before 8 AM: Get to train station for the 1 hour commute to university
  • 9 AM to 6 PM: Teach undergraduate and graduate classes, including laboratory.
  • 6 PM to 10:30 PM: Advise students and do own research.
  • 10:30 PM: Mosey on down to the train station for 1 hour commute home.
  • ~11:30 PM: Get home way after daughter has gone to sleep
  • Repeat
The pay ain't much to brag about either, and let me assure you that considering the years of education involved and the relative costs of living in Japan and Norway, the dumbass teacher is making way more than my honorable Japanese colleague.

Differently put; I seriously doubt that karoshi occurs among Norwegian teachers.

Palin the genius



*shudder*